27
easy strategies for handling difficult people
Proven strategies for handling difficult people. bound to
work if you check out the part you'll control - you! Discover simple tips for a
way to affect gossips, whiners, know-it-alls, exploders and more. Whether it's
handling a difficult boss, handling a difficult co-worker or difficult spouse.
And, might you be the difficult person?! Oh my!
“No one can get your goat if they don’t know where it’s
engaged .” Zig Ziglar
1. Listen more effectively. Listening is that the
favorite tool in communication, especially when handling difficult people.
2. Step back and analyze things from an outdoor
perspective. once we are less emotionally involved and “cool our jets,” the
answers come for a way to effectively affect them. Whether handling a difficult
boss, handling a difficult co-worker, or spouse.
3. Ignoring often doesn’t work. the strain becomes so
thick you'll cut it with a knife.
4. Choose your battles. There are times once you need to
“let it go.” Know when to talk up and when to select your battles.
5. Criticize face to face , praise publicly . Never
publicly criticize someone as you'll appear as if the person and therefore the
difficult person will only become more upset.
6. Maintain respect for them – albeit you disagree or
dislike them. a minimum of acknowledge what they assert . believe how you'd
want to be treated.
7. Seek first to know then to be understood, especially
when handling difficult people.
8. People often won’t care what you think that unless
they think you care. a minimum of plan to see it from their perspective.
9. Maintain high expectations and standards if you're
managing this employee. If you don’t do that you'll be seen as enabling their
unacceptable behavior.
10. Strive for greater communication. Often, it’s not
that there isn’t enough communication, it’s that it’s bad communication. So
work on improving your conflict resolution skills. If you're a manager,
consider training everyone in conflict resolution. one among the most reasons
teams fail is because a number of the people on the team don’t like one another
, or aren’t skilled in handling conflict.
11. Invest in communication skills courses and conflict
resolution skills courses to enhance the part you'll control – you.
12. Don’t lose emotional control. Antagonists and
“passive-aggressives” will often attempt to push your buttons.
13. Avoid being around difficult people when they’re
during a bad mood. If they’re always during a bad mood, try being around them
once they are during a “better” mood!
14. Accept, change or reject. Know that ultimately you
simply have three choices:
1) Accept things knowing it won’t change.
2) plan to change your relationship with them by changing
how you react.
3) If it’s really affecting your well being, it's going to
be time to “reject” things and advance .
15. Avoid "but." No “but’s” allowed! for
instance , don’t follow giving them positive reinforcement with, “But on the
opposite hand…” The word “but” only negates everything positive you only said.
16. Non-verbally position yourself at their eye level.
for instance , if they're sitting once you talk with them, sit. If they're
standing, stand. Converse at their level.
17. Avoid the word “need” when possible and use “want”
instead. Saying politely and tactfully, “John, i would like to possess the
project in to me by noon in order that we’ll meet our deadline. “Want” is more
assertive as long as it’s within the right tone.
18. Watch your tone of voice. Avoid an autocratic or
sarcastic tone. The Latin root of the word “sarcasm” is “sarco” meaning tearing
of the flesh!
19. In face-to-face communication, words account for 7%
of what people notice and believe about you. Tone is 38% and visual
communication 55%. So a full 93% is tone and visual communication .
20. Give sincere positive reinforcement once they do
something well. Show genuine appreciation. Often difficult people are difficult
because they feel unappreciated.
21. Avoid absolutes like , “You always” and “You never.”
It puts difficult people further on the defensive.
22. Don’t take it personally. Often they’re difficult due
to something happening with them.
23. Watch your psychological state . Don’t allow them to
drag you down. a touch of which will be normal but don’t allow it to travel on.
24. Remember the one that constantly angers you, or
constantly intimidates you, controls you.
25. Mutually comply with advance . comply with disagree.
If this isn’t possible, a minimum of “move on” in your own mind.
26. plan to understand what’s driving that difficult
behavior. Get at the basis cause, albeit you simply attempt to figure it call
at your own mind.
27. E + R = 0. Event + Reaction = Outcome. You can’t
control the event, but you'll control the result supported how you react or
respond. take care how you respond.
For example, there’s the story of the couple who were
divorcing. A neighbor said to the wife, “Do you think that you’d ever revisit
together?” She replied, “No, because we've said things to every other that are
so horrible, that even after apologizing they might never be taken back. there
is no way we’d revisit together.” The moral of the story…be careful what you
say. Once those words are out they’re hard to require back.
“The disease of me often leads to the defeat folks .” Pat
Riley of NBA fame
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